Making it Happen – Dealing with Disappointments


One thing I love to do is plan. I have lots and lots notebooks where I write my plans, ideas, dreams and aspirations.  I love doing this and I especially love to tick things off when they’re done! When things don’t go according to plan it can throw me off a little, or sometimes a lot…

When I was younger I met someone who I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. We started talking about marriage and even started to make some plans together. In my eyes this was it – this was “the one” and my journey as his wife would soon begin! I needed to get ready! I needed to prepare – and that’s what I started doing. That was my new focus! So, you can imagine my disappointment when I found out that he cheated on me and everything subsequently fell apart…

I was broken. My heart was shattered. I felt used and very, very confused. I had said at the beginning of the year that this was my year of testimonies – that great things would happen this year and now it was all ruined!
Well, those were my thoughts for several weeks – possibly a couple of months, until I realised that I was going absolutely nowhere fast in this daily, one-man pity party I was throwing for myself! I needed to get my life back on track, but how would I do that? Well, I did that by going through the following steps in dealing with my disappointment:

Woman-up! Overcome the emotion and learn from it
When I had sobered up emotionally speaking, I realised that although I did not deserve to be cheated on, I had made some wrong decisions in getting involved with this person and had I listened to my gut instincts I would not have been involved with him in the first place. There were some clear signs in the very beginning of our relationship, that this was not the one for me. I had to now be humble enough and woman enough to accept that I too had my part to play in getting hurt and had to make a mental list of things I would do differently going forward.

Take the positive from the situation
Yes I had been cheated on. Yes, I was no longer in a relationship. Yes, I felt that all of that time invested in the relationship had now been wasted – but there was absolutely nothing that I could do about those things that had already happened! I however realised that I could control what happened from that point onwards. I had control of how I wanted my future to be. I was now free and single and able to re-plan my life – and I did just that! I had time to invest in my creative interests and in myself as a person and I made the most of that time – having some amazing experiences along the way.


Move on and make a decision to become a better person from it
In order to move on I had to forgive. I go into more details about this entire experience in my new audiobook segments called “Confessions of a Single Christian Girl” which play on the Pearls and Perils radio show every Thursday at 7pm on

After learning to forgive, I remembered that I had said “this year is going to be my year of testimonies” at the beginning of that year. I decided that I was not going to let this disappointment define me or my year! I decided I would make this a year of testimonies indeed. To cut a long story short, that was the year I learned to make jewellery and set-up my own business, which, 7 years later is doing very well! In addition to all of that, I am able to use this experience to help many other young women – hence my audiobook!

When we think about the women that we love and admire most, we don’t admire them for their great fashion sense or their lovely makeup. We admire their qualities, their strengths. The way they dealt with an adverse situation or with many adverse situations! Everyone faces disappointments in various aspects of their lives, but the type of woman you become is solely down to you and how you choose to deal with those disappointments.

By Melissa Doussey

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